Posted by: amica | June 4, 2010

Summer Break has Officially Begun

I was just over at Christine’s blog and am sitting here wondering….How do I put my own crap aside for my kid’s sake? I want to, I would love to just put my own crap aside and never revisit it, but doing it is SO HARD. I am rolling my eyes or sighing heavily at my kids before I even realize I am doing it. My son asks me at least a billion times a day why I am mad. I’m not but he says I look like I am. How comforting for them… How to live with 3 kids that battle on who can suck the life out of me first and not react negatively? There are times I can, I have to REALLY focus on it, sometimes even pausing before reacting. But not enough. Not nearly enough. Now the four of us will be together all the time – school is out and I am still not working. It will be a challenge. Trying to get myself mentally in a place for this to be a successful summer. Go Me!

Advertisements

Responses

  1. It is so hard! The Attachment Challenge at Christine’s blog was hard. I am not sure that sucking the life out of you is really their goal. I am sure you will find that place and will have a successful summer. Go you! {{{Hugs}}}

  2. I am not sure you can put your stuff aside. It is still there and some of it needs to be dealt with as you go and some of it is long term. I am finding that I have asked Tortuga to deal with each of his “negative” behaviors in some kind of systematic way and so I have simultaneously tried to deal with each of mine (as they relate to him) too. For example, I am not much of a yeller but he doesn’t listen when I don’t use a “strong” voice so I have to repeat things several times in my calm and soft voice and he still doesn’t listen so it gets to me. I started out by making every direct instruction to him one that I said in my normal tone and repeated softly 2-3 times but them MADE myself walk away (very hard to do for me) and then I would quickly write it down. When he inevitably returned to ask again I could just hand him the paper. Once that annoyed him enough he actually started listening to what I was saying or anticipate the writing. Believe it or not it no longer bothers me that when he doesn’t listen because I have a place to put my response. It may seem like a small thing but it is how I have been able to handle a number of the things that take the smile from my face. On another related note–Christine’s attachment challenged helped because it made me KNOW that I was having positive and fun interactions with each kid every single day no matter what else happened. YES it used 2 hours and 40 minutes of my time that I didn’t think I had but actually realized I wasn’t using it to monitor, redirect, negatively engage, or work to ignore stuff that doesn’t help all of us. I am working on maintaining some parts of that challenge and see what the longer term impact on all of us are.

    P.S. I found myself smiling a whole lot more that week even though we still had some awful moments! Don’t know if this helps but just know I totally get it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: