Posted by: amica | November 18, 2009

The Last 15 Hours

I have had the weirdest/unbalanced/eventful last 15 or so hours…

Last night after dinner, M was in his room finishing up homework (his room is in the front of the house) and the rest of us were in my room (back of the house) dressing H’s turkey like Amelia Bedelia for school, don’t ask. M comes running and yelling that some lady is screaming for help outside. My mom immediately jumps up and I am not far behind. I am still in the house but I hear my mom yelling STOP! STOP! I am going to call the police if you don’t stop!!! Another woman was yelling for someone to please call 911! Normally my kids are never allowed alone in a room together but I yelled for M to keep the girls and himself in my room and close the door. I grabbed the phone and went out front. I saw a car take off and my mom hugging a woman I didn’t know. I was on the phone with 911 explaining the little I knew. Now the woman is begging me not to call the police. The dispatcher took the info and heard what the lady was saying. I hung up and about that time they left. My mom then explained that when she got outside she saw a young man beating the crap out of another man in the middle of the street – on the ground. And the woman was screaming for them to stop. Apparently, this woman is a sister of my neighbor, who wasn’t home. Somehow dad attacks mom and young adult son ends up beating the crap out of dad. Not sure how that all came to be, why they were in separate cars, why they were throwing down in front of a family member’s house when no one was home, but a policeman finally arrived. It was obvious by his attitude that we weren’t in a small town anymore. Where I grew up, this would be the big story, on the front page, the police would investigate for months. This guy, he half-listened to my mom, went and knocked on the neighbor’s door, declined the license plate my mom had gotten and said we should call back if anything else happens….Guess there are more dramatic issues in the big city.

Came inside and the phone was ringing. It was “the grandpa”. M and H’s grandpa. I had mailed him and his ex-wife a letter and had expected him to call. Once the kids were in bed, I called him back and we talked. I so wish I could believe him. That he misses the kids and loves them and is going crazy without them near. But…I know he is not liking not being in control. He has never come to visit, calls randomly, and makes it very obvious that he prefers M over H. Anyway, I listened and nodded aloud when necessary. Why fight? I told him I would have the therapist call him…

Going back a bit:

So after the big excitement, M was excited wanting all the details and little H was terrified. Such a reminder of all the drama when living with bio-mom. I was really thinking she wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. But she did. Until about mid-night. I hear this banging on the wall – not sure I have ever mentioned this but both M and H are terrified of their door alarms. I have made it very clear to them that the alarms aren’t to keep them in their rooms, but to let me know of their whereabouts. Doesn’t matter, they will NOT open their doors no matter what. So H was banging on her wall for me – the way she was doing this led me to believe she had had a nightmare. I ran in there and opened her door. She wasn’t afraid, she was sick. So I switched gears and got her to the restroom to hug the throne. I then went and stripped her bed, started the washer, put on new sheets and went to check on her. She was still getting sick. I am embarrassingly unable to be in the same room with someone who is getting sick. I was standing on the other side of the open door offering my moral support. She was handling it like a champ. As a kid, I would cry and cry but H just did her thing. After about 1/2 hour, I went to wake my mom because the poor child had been getting sick every five minutes. My mom came in and thankfully took over. Right in there, near the nasty stuff and sickening noises and smells. I was in awe. I remained on the outside of the door and was the runner of Pepto, washrags, water, etc. Glad to be useful somehow. H moved to her bed about 1:30 with “the” bowl. She got sick 3 more times until she finally fell asleep at almost 3AM. She woke this morning with a bit of a fever.

I stumbled in to the restroom this morning to get ready for work. More recently, I have noticed some “changes” but have concluded it is nothing more than some hairs that have become lost. I mean, I could get lost in a shoebox so why wouldn’t it make sense that my hairs would wind up in places they have never been??? Right?? But this morning. This morning, staring at me in the mirror was not one, but THREE gray hairs. Not blonde, not highlights, but 3 wiry gray hairs laughing at me…We do not go gray. My elder family members have some gray hairs but they are well above 50 at that point. I am not even close to 50 – my mom is only 54. (Sorry mom, better posting your age than mine!!!)

Gray. Hairs. One for each child, I presume.



  1. Nothing like a little excitement!

    Gray hair….didn’t have a one until RAD arrived. Now I have tons. I have my dad’s hair. He didn’t turn gray until the last year and he’s 67! Me…not so lucky.

  2. hope H is feeling better. Need me to touch up your roots?

  3. Oh my goodness, that was quite the run of “interesting” events. Hope you’re getting a bit of a breather now.

    RAD and onset of gray hairs are strangely coincidental in my world too. I have my mom’s hair, and she had no gray til quite an advanced age. But then she had no RAD in her world.

  4. Phhbt! I started going gray at 21. I’m only 39 now, but I’m more than 75% gray. I finally decided that if God decided I should look like I’m younger (no wrinkles and no one believes I’m the mom of 4- 3 of whom are teens) then so be it, but I’m tired of spending all that money dying the gray and touching up my roots (not to mention who has the time?!) so people are just going to have to be confused.

    So you can’t blame gray hair on RADs (I have 2), but you can blame RADS for the lack of time to cover them. FYI, if you only have a few, just do what my dad did – pluck!

    Mary in TX
    Mom to biokids Ponito(10) and his sister Bob(13)
    Sibling pair adoptive placement from NE 11/06
    Finally finalized on Kitty(14) on 3/08 – 2 weeks before her 13th birthday!
    Finalized on her brother Bear(16) 7/08. He turned 15 the next day.

    “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”

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