Posted by: amica | October 1, 2009

Around here….

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted and I keep putting it off because there is so much I want to share/document and it’s overwhelming.  But I am going to try because the list will only get longer.  So here goes:

General family: Mom is still with my aunt who is painfully hanging on. When your loved ones pray for your passing, you know it’s bad. (the pain) AE’s dad was here the last week and they had a wonderful visit together. She is old enough now to know who he is and she adores him. He was awesome with her (and M and H too) – I called home from work one day to check on the two of them and he was painting her nails before they left for the zoo….Awww! I hope he figures out how much she needs him on a regular basis.

Life in general: We had another meeting of the RAD MomsSunday and it was great fun! I hope we continue to meet on a regular basis because it does so much for my sanity! Not only do these women “get it,” but they are truly great people with wonderful spirits. I am blessed to know them! Overheard M talking to the other boys a little about his situation; it was nice to see him having other kids to talk to that knew where he was coming from! Priceless!

M: I have noticed a shift in the last couple of weeks. He still has behaviours and only time and allowance of privileges will really tell but do I dare say it….the boy seems to be happy. He lets things roll off more, he isn’t as repulsed by H, he will actually listen to me when I am correcting him and not just shut down. I have been doing the “rewind” with him; when he reacts to a situation incorrectly but I know he knows the correct way I gently ask him to back up and try again.  Case in point, tonight I made him egg sandwiches for dinner and when he came around the corner he groaned and pointed out abruptly that I didn’t toast his bread. I smiled and said, honey when someone is doing something nice for you, it is not appropriate to be ugly about it. Why don’t you leave the kitchen and come in again – try a different approach? He did, sluggishly, but he did. He came in and I said here’s your dinner honey!  He said, thanks mom. Wasn’t over the moon or anything but it was progress and he willingly went along with it which is HUGE.

H: H oh H oh H oh H. I love that girl but I am so easily annoyed by her lately. Every, every, everytime someone has an itch, a hurt, a runny nose, etc here she comes. Her’s is bigger or worse. I wasn’t sure AE’s dad was going to make it a whole week in the same house with her. One evening she was “crying” that AE, the 2 year old, pushed her down and hurt her arm.  After some great advice from the RAD Moms, I counted to five, put on my actors hat and ran in there. Oh no! Are you ok? My poor baby! Where does it hurt??? She put on her mad face and told me to stop it. She actually said that I was talking to her like she is stupid….I smiled and said don’t you think it makes me feel like you assume I am stupid when you over-react. She didn’t like that either…So I continued…Let me see your arm (she is holding it). She didn’t want me to see it now but I insisted. So she dug her fingernails as hard as she could across her arm before showing it to me. I said Sweetie, don’t do that! You’ll only make it hurt worse! She was pretty much done with me at that point. I did receive an Academy Award from AE’s dad though! Next night, as I was putting her to bed, her private area was BURNING! I pointed out how it wasn’t burning 5 minutes ago while she was having fun. But it is NOW. So I agreed to take a peek….she clawed the crap out of that too. Today, getting hurt every 5 minutes. I told her to go lay down very still for awhile because I was so worried about her injuring herself. Well that could stop now since she realized I didn’t want her to be rushing around. I mean, she was only doing that for me, after all it is my birthday and she was only trying to help me out. Oh no, please go lie down before something terrible happens. 10 minutes later she explained that she only did that because she felt like AE and M were getting more attention than her. I hugged her and told her I was so proud she had the ability to recognize this and own it. Next time, try to recognize before falling all over the place. Honestly, I didn’t feel any of what I said to her because M had been in his room doing homework and AE was watching a movie while I was cooking. No one was getting my attention but I’ll keep faking it until I make it. Or die.



  1. *standing in the balcony clapping*

    Bravo! Bravo!


    The beauty of just joining in their attention-seeking behaviors is that it causes them to not enjoy it anymore, but at the same time, you are connecting and can enjoy them for a moment there at the end.

    Whoo! Hoooooo!

    Not to mention, when she DOES try it again, think how fun it will be to start screaming, “OH MY GOD! YOUR LABIA IS BURNING!!! SHOULD I CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT? COME ON. LET’S RUN TO THE NEIGHBORS AND ASK FOR HELP … FOR YOUR VAGINAL AREA!”

  2. Encore! Encore!

    So sorry, but I am laughing about the burning privates.

    Great great acting job on your part.

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