Posted by: amica | June 18, 2009

Seeing Is Believing

You know how sometimes you try to explain RAD; try to let the RAD-virgins peek into your world but somehow you can’t put it into words?  And then they kinda look at you funny and probably whisper about your sanity later? So eventually you quit trying to explain and figure it doesn’t matter if they understand or not.  But some people need to understand because they will be dealing with your RADishes pretty often.  Our new babysitters are two girls, they are sisters, that are very intelligent but socially immature for their 15 and 18 year old ages.  This is good because they aren’t dating or partying and are really fun. They each get one kid and share the baby while I am working.  The first week was good for the kids, having more freedom than I allow and although supervised and safe, it sounded like chaos. I let it go, planned to let it go for 2 weeks.  I wanted them to see what RAD is and I knew the first week they would still be thinking what adorable normal kids I have.  Over the weekend, I decided I couldn’t deal with knowing there was little to no structure and they were probably dancing on my couch, so I put together a schedule guide.  Most involving M and H staying in their rooms reading, writing  journal entries, playing instruments, math, english, spelling, etc worksheets and playing with leggos or linkin logs. They can come out for meals, separated outside playtime (park or pool), separated chore time, and all together for craft time at the end of the day when I am getting home. (Both kids were so excited when I was printing out the worksheets!!??) The sitters understood from what I could tell and were enforcing better than I expected for the first week.  Yesterday I got home and the older one, Jess, comes over to talk to me in private.  She explains that a game board was left on the table so the kids could switch what they were playing.  The younger sister, Meg, was with M at that time and AE was with Jess.  H had gone into the kitchen for some water.  She came dramatically running out saying milk had spilled on the board.  I felt the ends of my mouth beginning to turn upward as I looked at their concerned and confused faces. Jess continued to tell me that H didn’t have milk and the only milk out was in AE’s sippy that the stopper had been removed from and found in the sink.  There was no milk spill anywhere on the table but only directly below the board like it was purposefully placed right on top of the milk puddle.  By this time I was smiling because I knew what was happening. Jess asked if I thought H would do this on purpose and if so why.  I asked if someone had made H mad before this.  She said H was told she couldn’t do something but didn’t feel like H was upset about it. I explained that she had indeed done it on purpose and H was definitely mad.  Where M lets you know immediately that he is upset and how it is your fault, H acts like nothing and you don’t think about it again until you find something damaged. They were stunned and I was beaming.  Do you see what happened???  They SAW the RAD with their own eyes and I am no longer CRAZY mom!!! At this point they started bringing up other little things they had happened over the last week that, individually, weren’t anything, but all combined were shocking to Jess and Meg. They got it!!  They got it!! I am doing a happy dance!!!

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Responses

  1. awesome! awesome! have they seen any of the parenting videos or books?

  2. I offered but they haven’t asked to take them yet…

  3. Wierd in a way but I totally get it. I don’t want my kid to act out with other people. But, they would never believe how far south a day can go otherwise. Plus RAD kids can be perfect and charming for strangers which doesnt help!

  4. I was so lucky to have a sitter who got it when we were in Boston. She and her 19 year old attitude were absolutely what my kids needed. So glad they get it.

  5. I especially love it when therapists lose their RAD virginity. We’ve had several therapists that we didn’t get to hire (appointed by schools, hospitals or treatment centers), and our daughter especially is always so sweet away from home. I feel so validated when she lets them see her vindictive, RAD colors.

    Mary in Texas


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