RAD meets RAD

It has been a great, busy few days!  Thursday, my kids and I met Lisa,   J,   Mary and her daughter for lunch. The three of us have “met” through blogging and it was so great to get to meet in person!  Lisa is here in Texas for a few days to meet her new daughter, SK.  SK will be joining them in GA on Monday.

Lisa invited the kids and I up to Ingram, TX today where she is staying. Of course we said yes and left out at an impressive 9Am on a Saturday!  Got a little lost because I can’t find my way around a shoebox but eventually did arrive, much to my kid’s surprise – they really didn’t think mom could do it.  When we arrived, Lisa and the girls were waiting for us in the pool. Introductions and sunscreen applications took place, then the kids bolted for the pool. Lisa and I had a little time to chat before my little one wanted me to swim with her. The afternoon was great and the kids – all of them  – got along so well considering the 2 year old was the only RAD-free kid there.

I really have to take a moment to gush about Lisa. She was the first RAD-mommy blogger I found and after briefly reading her site, I knew I had to contact her.  She responded immediately and has since been a source of love and acceptance and guidance for me. I knew she was awesome but to see her with the girls today, I was in awe. Honestly, I wondered how it would be for her to go from just J to the “joy” of a multiple RAD mom we others are. I had no reason to be worried, she was completely on top of things and was amazing with them both, juggling their needs like an old pro!  She was so attuned to them both, understanding the anxiety they each were feeling/expressing. All they while, watching my kids, praising me, and offering helpful hints to this mom who isn’t always so on top of things. She is truly amazing.

I was also very curious to see M and H interact with other RAD kids for the first time.  I told Lisa I wondered if they identified with them or thought they were nothing like them.  I really think they identified.  Usually they will talk about other kid’s behaviors, not in a mean way, just in a way that they observed and wanted to talk about.  They didn’t with J and SK. They talked about the fun they had and how they would like to see them again but they never mentioned any of the RAD behaviors they witnessed. I also think they really benefited from talking to/watching Lisa. All along I have been getting the crazy mom speech, especially from M.  Today Lisa spoke with him and because she and I had talked previously about M not wanting to do any bonding tools with me, she and he came up with several ideas he agreed to do for 5 min each day.  There were also several she mentioned that he told her he wouldn’t be comfortable with, so this tells me he might actually follow through and wasn’t just being agreeable to the stranger. Tonight I went and layed on his bed where he was reading. I got a weird look from him and he asked, Yes? I said, don’t I get my 5 min?  He grinned and began to rub my shoulders.  I didn’t make eye contact tonight, I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible so as to not scare him off. He did it!  I didn’t watch the clock but I can say it was pretty close to an actual 5 minutes!  Then he went and got his yearbook and proceeded to tell me all about some kids for 20 min until he asked me to leave so he could have some reading time before lights out.  Bonding! Reading! Personal Chatting!  It was a glorious day!  I then went to H’s room and she asked if I would read to her.  There is NEVER an issue getting that girl to bond, only not being able to bond enough for her! We had a good time too.

When Dia gets back from vacation, we also plan to get together. I hope to stay in touch with Mary and since she, Dia and I all live relatively close, maybe we can all visit sometime. It felt so good to be able to relax while visiting. Realizing I didn’t have to hold my breath as to how my kids would act around other people.  These “people” didn’t care and had seen it all. My kids could have spewed green liquid and had their heads spinning and Lisa and Mary would have just smiled knowingly. I haven’t felt that way in a long time…

Here are pictures of Lisa and her girls from today (with her permission):