Posted by: amica | May 18, 2009

Who’s Spiking the Punch?? No, Really! Please Spike the Punch!

My M has taken on a new personality. He is no longer sullen and angry with a chip on his shoulder. Noooo! For the past 3 days, he is now pinging off the walls. He jumps out from behind corners to scare me, he laughs when I correct him – he normally storms off in a huff – he can’t sit still and tonight he thought it would be fun to play “Let’s Tell Mom Stuff We Have Done in the Past if She Promises Not to Get Mad at Us.” Seriously. The kid who has refused to open up decides it would be fun tonight. Of course H agrees since she will talk to a brick wall about anything. So I promise and explain that it is more important that they feel they can tell me things than it is for me to get mad over past incidents. I tell him how proud I am that he finally wants to open up.  Then I prepare myself and take a seat.  No matter what they say, it is in the past and we can only move forward. Please God, help me control my emotions! Ok, GO!  M proceeded to tell me that he curses with his friends at school, about inappropriate video games he has played in the past, things he done to gross out girls, that he holds hands with his girlfriend at recess, etc.  None that I would have been ok with a year ago but all that I were very relieved with at this point.  I thought this was going to be a break through moment for him, like he had all this dark stuff to share. He seemed glad to get it off his chest and I praised him for his honesty. The End.  Roll Credits. ERRRRKK! Rewind. H’s turn. For the next 20 minutes H lists off every boy that I even remotely remember her mentioning over the past 5 years and even some girls and then she proceeded to tell me what they did, where, and how. Detailed.  On the playground, up in the covered slide, in first grade at recess…etc. Times I remembered where I was and how they were only playing next door at the neighbor’s, in the bathroom at school in kindergarten with other girls, at a daycare center in the bathroom with 2 boys.  The list goes on.  And my poker face rocked if I do say so. I can’t say I was stunned, surprised of course, cringing definitely, but not stunned. It just broke my heart to realize how often this was taking place and how so many times it was right under someones nose, right under my nose. She talked about sneaking into her brother’s room in the night and kissing his body parts, non vulgar, but still inappropriate. He was getting grossed out, obviously unaware of some things. (Yeah door alarms!!) She then told me that she loves M like a boyfriend and wants to do more “things” with him.  He looked at me and asked that I make her stop, that she is always telling him how she’s in love with him and thinks he’s hot. She just blushed. I’m trying to rationalize.  Ok, if she is emotionally immature then it is somewhat normal, right?  I mean, most little girls want to marry their daddy’s.  But not have kinky sex with them….I explained how this made her brother uncomfortable and that it wasn’t appropriate. And then I dropped it.  We stopped the game and I sent her to take her evening shower.  And then him.  Then we had family time of googling STD pictures and I completely grossed them out.  I explained that normally this isn’t appropriate to be showing kids of their ages but hey, they’ve already explored the “good” side of it, I needed to explain the realistic side. I have decided to take up drinking as a hobby…



  1. Oh I LOVE that you googled STD’s.

    As disgusting as it is, it is good that your kids opened up. Maybe it will mean they will be more likely to tell you when new things happen. One can hope right? I can only imagine how grossed out you were, LOL. My 14 yr old delayed daughter has a crush on her 6 yr old brother. Makes me want to wretch. Saying the word “hot” in our house is now a swear because of it. Seriously. The kids can’t even say it if they are actually hot. They have to say “really warm”. LOL Good luck. Sex stuff with kids sucks.

  2. You did great! Get that child some horseback riding time. Seriously worked wonders on one of my foster kids years ago. Seriously though it is great that they are talking about this.

  3. Good Lord! That will definitely throw you for a loop… I’m so glad they have the trust in you to tell you these things, because now you have a better idea what you’re up against. Keep that therapist working!

  4. Ohhhh, I hate those moments when you want to pour Clorox into your brain to remove all of the thoughts and images that will not go away after such discussions.

    You rocked it.

    Our Mar came into our home being very sexually provocative with her new brother (and any other person with a penis … and probably the trees in the front yard … wouldn’t surprise me). She still can’t interact one-on-one with any other boys, but she can totally hang with her brothers without a problem now.

    I still keep a close eye on the trees, though.

  5. Wow, good job!
    I recommend vodka. Cheap, travels well, low odor.
    I love that you googled std’s- thats awesome. When my girls were running into the street without looking I found some video of people being hit by cars. I was feeling a little guilty that was too strong of material, but they stop at the driveway now. So, better they are a little freaked out than dead.
    I think.

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