Posted by: amica | May 15, 2009

I’m Back!

Why does it seem like weeks since I’ve posted on here? Every time I would get to a point that I could, something else would happen. Seems to be the norm more and more.

Here’s what’s going on short form:

*Have left messages with both CPS and the police and no one is returning my calls.  Guess they will get to us when they do.

*Have found a lovely daycare for AE, she starts the day after Memorial Day.

*South Padre was fun, stressful, and I was ready to get home. H tried out her triangulation skills and M was…let’s say moody.

*M has charged over $200 in Playboy/Hustler pay-per-view movies to my cable bills between this one and the one I haven’t received yet. He thought I wouldn’t notice… I have a parental block now; I am always 2 steps behind. He was doing it from the playroom (which now no longer has a TV) and apparently I sleep through the door alarm on his room. His opens and closes it quickly and I never hear it.  Need a new plan on this one if anyone has any suggestions.

*I am still trying to find someone to watch M and H this summer without much success.  I swear I advertise nice things about them!!

*M is refusing to talk about much in therapy.  Just a bunch of “I don’t know” and “I don’t want to talk” and “I’m not sure I even want to get better” and “Sounds like too much work” and “I can’t believe you pay someone to talk to us; that’s stupid.” We had a 3 hour session last night and at the end, the therapist said I need to be prepared that if he doesn’t begin to try and help himself, I may need to cut my losses. Not anytime soon and we aren’t by any means talking about giving up but M has expressed that he knows he can’t always control his thoughts and he knows he is capable of harming someone. If that becomes a real threat…

*The therapist wants me to have M’s IQ tested, she said she would be shocked if he isn’t at genius level.  She also said if he was 18, she would diagnose him as a sociopath. Great combo!

*Last night, the therapist also told me to start H on birth control THE DAY she starts her period. I hate that I can’t control what my children will ultimately do but I guess being proactive is at least something.

*The therapist is going to start neuro-feedback on me for relaxation – FOR FREE!  Have I said how awesome she is?? 

Well, that has been my last week.  I am lingering in a lull where I don’t have the desire to attack this.  I want to get back to “Let’s do it! I have a plan!” I’m sure it will come back around soon and I plan to over-haul the house more over the weekend. More lock-down needs obviously. I am counting on Katharine Leslie to get a sista’ in the mood on Monday…you know what I mean!



  1. Sounds like the trip was not great, that is too bad. I take my kids on overnights and the work and stress takes up 2 days for every one day we are away for. So I hear ya!
    I am planning birth control for Genea too. I am hoping when the time comes there will be something I can sneak in her and she won’t know what it is. Gosh, she is just SO needy. I guess that might be controversial but so be it.

    • Needy is the perfect word for my H. It’s frustrating and exhausting! I feel guitly when I cringe as she comes at me with her clinginess. I understand, I do.

  2. Glad you are back! 🙂 Jump back in when you are ready. It’s a trial and error process so hang on to what works. I think mine will probably need the b.c. too…. 😦 As for M. hang in there with him. It’s a step that you know his thoughts about stuff. It may help to acknowledge and work with these. We have to do that alot with my oldest who is quite clear in stating and writing all over the place that he HATES his younger brother and sister but not the baby. So we use that as the reason he can’t do certain things with them that he really wants to do. I’ll say “sorry, you can’t play with __because you hate him and it might come out.” After a couple of weeks of reminding him of this he has started to say that he wants to stop hating them. I’ll take progress where I can get it.:)

  3. Sounds like it’s been an uphill battle lately on some of these issues. M and H (and AE) are lucky to have a mother who’s willing to dedicate this much time and emotional energy to their healing and recovery. You are such a blessing to them. I’m praying for all of you!

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